I wear my heart on my sleeve, and it gets me in trouble a lot of the time.  I fear its why I end up so sad.  Why I cry myself to sleep almost every night.  I try to live up to everyone's expectations of me, yet for some reason, I fall so short.  I feel like no matter what I do, I'm never gonna be someone to make a "difference".  I'm good for a short period of time, to get someone through the short-comings, and then I'm useless.  I feel as if there is no "long-term" in my life.  I just want to feel loved.  I want to really feel it.  I want to know that there is someone that can't live without me, and yet I fear that there isn't.

I know there is someone that I care for with all my heart, yet I don't even know for sure if that feeling is even "mutual" anymore.  Sometimes I just feel like they're words to make me stop expressing how I'm feeling.  Maybe I'm wrong.  I just feel so lost, and like maybe I just hope for something that really isn't there.  I dunno, maybe I'm blind to reality.  Maybe everything isn't how I think it is.  Maybe I'm wrong.  But what if I'm right.

I have this gut feeling that I'm setting myself up to be hurt, and I really don't think I can handle getting hurt again.  Goodness gracious, I just wish I could find my way.