i wish i could describe it.  what i'm going through.  some way that others could understand.  i'm tired of feeling like i'm crazy.  i'm tired of being sad.  i'm tired of the rollercoaster.  i feel sick to my stomach and i just wanna feel like maybe there is a meaning to my life.  i've always been told i'm an easy person to love, but when someone tells you flat out that i'm not a person that can be loved by them, and i considered them someone i care about.  its like WTF?!  i do anything and everything i can for a person, and its never enough.  nothing is ever enough.  cuz its those allow you to give and give and give.  and when they get nothing more out of you, they leave.

i'm tired of pretending i'm okay.

and no matter how many times i say i'm okay, i know deep down i'm not.  i'm lying to myself.